Happy New Year

My wife asked me last night what I get sentimental over. Precious little, is part of the answer, as well as It's usually a surprise. Last week the day care had a bake sale. My colleague came upstairs with a bag of peanut butter fudge. I don't normally eat sweets, so PBF isn't something I've sought out in the last 25-30 years. But I ate the PBF and teared up a little; it brought me right back to my late grandmother's kitchen in Woburn, and memories of a frustrating woman that I loved very deeply. Peanut butter fudge....who knew?

And now, sitting here at the edge looking out to 2010, I'm realizing that occasions make me sentimental. New year, new season, birthday, anniversary, etc. I fall into reflecting on the past and planning for the future.

This past year has definitely taken me places I hadn't expected to be...ever.

I jumped on the chance to do something I've wanted to do for years, if only on a super-part-time basis (live and work someplace for a tourist season...and god, Martha's Vineyard is beautiful!), and also put me into a work situation I swore I'd never be in (9-5...and at Harvard University, at that!) yet love. My plans to push forward into a career of full-time massage therapy are on hold, which surprises the hell out of me, but it feels ok for now.

Last year I found this woman's blog, my intro to which was this post:

http://christinekane.com/blog/resolution-revolution-a-better-way-to-start-your-year/

I liked --and still do!-- the idea of choosing a guiding principle to inspire one's choices rather than a specific "Thou (I) shalt..."

I haven't chosen a word yet, but am chewing on them for the day. What would your word be?

Mandatory Blurb: Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her 'LiveCreative' weekly ezine with more than 8,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a free subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Christine's blog - Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous - at ChristineKane.com/blog.

Things people ask me

People ask me a lot of questions. Some of them relate to a massage that they are an active participant. Some of them relate to other clients. Here is a sampling:

1. Do I have to get undressed?
1a. Can/Should I leave my bra/underwear/socks/pants/shirt/etc on?

No, you don't have to get undressed. I've certainly worked on a number of people who have remained fully clothed (and I've also had a number of clients who half-undress). It's important that you do what you have to in order to feel comfortable, relaxed and safe. When someone wears clothes on the table, it does change how I work (no oil, for example, and more compressive/fewer-to-no gliding techniques), and also how frequently I check in with them about certain things (e.g. "Is it ok for me to unhook your bra to work on your back, or would you prefer I work around it?").

2. "I'm sorry. I didn't shave my legs/pits."

This isn't so much a question, but something the ladies say quite frequently. Let me assure you: I don't care. Seriously. I've never had a male client apologize for a single thing about their body (well, maybe profuse sweat in mid-August, but even still that's been rare). Body hair doesn't bother me. My massage table is the place where I hope you show up and feel completely accepted as you are.


3. Do you think it's gross if I don't wear underwear?

No.

4. Have your clients ever gotten erections/been inappropriate?

Sadly, I've dealt with some sketchy clients, but luckily they've kept their boners to themselves. Knock on wood (no pun intended).

5. Can you break someone's bones doing massage?

Only if they've got osteoporosis. I'm far more likely to injure myself doing massage.

Five seems like a good stopping point, plus I have other non-bloggy things to do with my life. Enjoy your lovely November day!

Mental Health Grand Rounds...today!

I'm frittering away some moments in the chilly, dark pre-dawn hours. I'm giving a talk today on massage and eating disorders at Mental Health Grand Rounds at HUHS. I'm alternately nervous, not nervous, and nervous about why I'm not more nervous. I'm trying to remember why I'm doing this (hint: it's not because I need to prove anything to anyone, but you'd never know it from the soundtrack in my head!).

So this part is more a note to self:

I'm doing this because I believe massage is an amazing healing tool. It is compassionate, nurturing, non-invasive, relatively low-cost, has no grody side-effects, and feels good. People make the choice to receive massage, to make the time and money for it...in that sense, it asks people to be active participants in their well-being. It says, "This body is worth loving. This body is worth compassion and care. This body is good enough to touch." For someone with body image issues, that can feel incredibly risky. It flies in the face of the hateful things they believe about themselves and their bodies.

So yeah. I've got my outline. I've got my resource list. I've got freshly made steel cut oats, slowly cooling coffee, a dog waiting to be walked, a dozing, recently-fed cat nearby. If I can hold my reasons for approaching HUHS about doing this in the first place, I think things will be a-ok.

The "Long Weekend" Massage

Many years ago, before I was a massage therapist, I used to visit my friend/MT, Susan Liao, every 3 weeks for an hour-long massage. At some point, I decided I needed a longer session, so I booked a 90-minute massage.

I remember, distinctly, being on the table. My internal clock was tick-tocking, and right around the time I was expecting Susan to lean over and tell me our time was up, the session kept going.

"It's like a long weekend," I thought, "that moment on Sunday when, instead of mentally switching gears back to your work-week, you realize you have a whole 'nother day to breathe."

These days, a 90-minute massage is what I go for if I want a full-body session. It gives the therapist an opportunity to thoroughly address any problem areas while tying in the non-problem areas; it gives my muscles a chance to really take in the work; and it's like a long weekend.

:)

So--if you've been exclusively booking 60-minute sessions, I invite you to think outside the box. Try a 75- or a 90-minute session and see if it works for you (and if you have your own "long-weekend-aha!" moment, please let me know!). If you've been putting off bodywork because of time or money--but your ______ is really troubling you--see if you can get a 30-minute treatment focusing on alleviating that pain or discomfort. Or, heck, go find yourself a 10- or 15-minute chair massage (Need a tip? You can find my colleague, Morgan, providing chair massage at the Copley Sq Farmers' Market).

Time for me to start packing up to leave the island and head back to Boston. Stay well!

Committing to Self-Care

I've recently joined a Peer Supervision group. We met at Crema Cafe in Harvard Square and went around the table, telling our stories, suggesting topics to cover, sharing what we hoped to get out of the group. One of my colleagues said that she wanted to make sure we talked about Self Care. We all nodded, and it reminded me that this is a topic I've been meaning to write more about.

My acupuncturist checked in with me at the start of our most recent session. "Are you doing self care? Yoga? Exercise?" I'm certain I got the same look on my face as most of my clients do when cornered with the same question; the tone in my voice certainly sounded familiar. I hedged; I rationalized; I was busted.

And finally, today, I went for some much-needed bodywork with someone I deeply respect (in part due to a lack of self-care...doh!). Before even giving me the exercises, she cocked her head at me and asked "If I give you exercises, will you do them? Because some people don't, and that's ok, but I just want to know if you will before I give them to you."

I said yes, and received my instructions. So I'm putting out there publically, because I do believe in its importance, that as a healthcare professional, I am committing to my own Self Care.

What has stopped me in the past?

~overcommitted days
~lack of energy (see above)
~lack of immediate gratification (this is a big one for me)
~believing that the other things I did for other people were more important than Self Care
~perfectionism (if I cannot do it "perfectly," I may as well not do it at all)

So when you aren't taking care of yourself, what are you doing instead? What stops you from taking those 5-10 minutes? What stops you from saying "yes" or "no" (whichever applies)?

So my commitments are:

~do my Lou-assigned exercises twice daily (starting tonight)
~go to bed earlier (especially since I'm a habitual early-riser!)
~spend time every morning getting clear on what is important to me, and saying "yes" or "no" to activities and commitments that are in line with a bigger vision

I'll let you know how it goes!

Lower Body OrthoMassage

Last weekend I received 20 hours of training in orthopedic massage for lower body conditions with James Waslaski.

I am now looking for folks with lower body complaints who are comfortable letting me practice my newfound skills on them.  Here are some details so you can make an informed decision:

• This will be unlike any bodywork you've received from me in the past.  It is very "active participant" and focused/clinical.
• You will be clothed for the session: underpants, loose stretchy shorts, t-shirt.
• No matter where your complaint, I will begin with your pelvis and hips and move down your legs to your feet.
• Some of the work on the hip flexors will be done by accessing them through your abdomen. Some folks find abdominal work to be sensitive; many of us hold a lot of emotion in our guts.  Rest assured that contact will be slow, patient, and at your pace.
• All work is meant to be pain-free, and even fairly discomfort-free.  It is quite slow, to allow the tissues to release at their own pace.
• Expect to spend about 90 minutes on a session, perhaps more.  There is a 12-step protocol for me to follow, and until I get it down, I will have to double-check my notes, my body mechanics, etc.  
• In order to participate, you must must MUST commit to self-care following.  
• The cost will be $50 for a session.
• Sessions will take place either on a Wednesday evening in Brookline or a Friday in Arlington.  

Why Your First Massage With Someone May Be Less Than Magical

I recently had a treatment with a massage therapist I hadn't worked with before. It was...ok. I had asked her to focus on a recurring shoulder complaint, which she did. I had specified to her that I love deep work, but that bodyworkers need to be slow and patient when applying deep tissue techniques, otherwise my muscles start guarding.

So I lay there on the table for an hour, waiting and waiting for her to go deeper. I didn't say anything, figuring she was perhaps just on the cusp of really going for it. Nope. As I got off the table, I certainly felt more relaxed and a bit looser, but she hadn't gone anywhere near my tolerance point for pressure and my shoulder still felt fairly bound up.

So I re-booked.

I recognize this isn't a choice that a lot of people would make. If you've spent money on a session and walk away from it feeling like you didn't get what you came in for, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to return to that therapist. Having been on the giving and receiving end of bodywork, there are many reasons why your first session with anyone might be less-than-fabulous and why you may want to consider a second chance:

• you are naked under a sheet or towel
  
• someone you don't know is touching you
• neither of you has a baseline for basic massage preferences such as style, pressure, pace, etc.
• a client may be less likely to speak up (as I was) because they are waiting to see what will happen
• there may be more miscommunication and misunderstanding because you don't know each other
• you may be comparing their work to your previous beloved (or behated) bodyworker
• you may be in so much pain or discomfort that precious little will make you happy at the moment
• you may be unhappy about your appearance and feeling self-conscious
• you don't know what to expect, or you have questions but are afraid to ask them and possibly appear "stupid" to the MT
  
• the receptionist may have been rude to you, and you're just livid (or intimidated, etc)
  
• so on and so forth

I've found as a bodyworker that the more I work with someone, the better and more effective the sessions. I always begin and end sessions with an interview to assess client goals and expectations, likes and dislikes, what worked and what didn't. With time, we develop a relationship of trust. I know my client's preferences and what works really well for their specific complaint. They know what to expect from me and so they let go more quickly. They speak up more quickly and confidently when something is or isn't to their liking because they know I welcome their feedback and won't be offended, and as a result the session is more satisfying to them.

As someone who receives regular bodywork, this is the guideline I've made for myself: I have 2-3 folks who are my go-to therapists; I know and like their work and regularly re-book with them. Every few months I pay a visit to a new therapist and see how it is they work. It's a system that has worked out really well for me.

Next time: either When to Not Re-Book Ever Ever or possibly How to Find a New MT.

Til then....

Chronic Pain and Happiness

I don't read the paper often, but I try to make time for the Boston Globe on Sundays. If you do, too, you may have seen this.

Firstly, I find the study of happiness to be fascinating, especially because many decades have been spent peering at the specifics of unhappiness and maladaptive behaviors.

Secondly, I'm intrigued by what such findings might mean for bodywork and bodywork research in light of their correlations between chronic pain and unhappiness. Would chronic pain sufferers find greater happiness if their complaints were addressed with consistent and regular bodywork?

"How often should I get massage?"

I get this question frequently.

The first and truest answer is: I don't know.

That said, what I tell people is that it depends on several factors:

~what are your goals and priorities?

~what can you realistically afford?

~what kind of time can you devote to massage or bodywork?

~what kind of self-care are you doing, or willing to do, between sessions?

Often, what I will recommend to someone coming in with a complaint that they are eager to fix is: come in for weekly treatments for 3-4 weeks, and then let's re-evaluate. If money or scheduling is an issue, it might be bi-weekly for 3-4 treatments, or it may mean doing shorter, more focused treatments.

I know, from experience, that regular bodywork brings change; people get results. Clients are pain-free for longer periods of time between sessions; they regain range of motion; they report decreases in insomnia and more restful sleep; they are inspired to take better care of their bodies beyond bodywork.

If there is one thing I can encourage clients to do, it is this: go for bodywork before reaching a state of absolute misery. There is no point in "saving" a bodywork session for when you absolutely cannot stand the pain or tension anymore. Resist the temptation to fall into this trap.

Personally, I go no longer than 3 weeks without bodywork. When I can swing it with scheduling and/or finances, I go weekly; generally, it's every 2 weeks. I recognize the value of it to my well-being, so I prioritize it. If I didn't, I suspect I'd have no business being a bodyworker!

:)

Just another Manic Monday

Actually, it's not all that manic, but that song gets stuck in my head on a weekly basis, so I thought I'd share the joy.  ;)

I had a great idea for a post earlier today, but it seems to have slipped away, so instead I'll share with you my favorite smoothie recipe.

frozen strawberries, plain yogurt, peach juice.......blend like crazy.  

Sometimes I throw in protein powder.  But sometimes the texture of protein powder isn't the nicest.  

Guided Visualization

I have had clients who struggle with pain.  I mean, we all do, in our way.  But sometimes with pain, it becomes this overwhelming, amorphous entity that can be difficult to manage due to its unwieldyness.  In Buddhism, there is the practice of naming things: feelings, thoughts, etc.  I like taking this concept but adding a creative person's twist.

So pain.  Do you have any in your body right now?  Discomfort will do.  :)

Close your eyes and see your pain or discomfort.  What color is it?  What texture is it?  What shape does it take?  There are no right or wrong answers; don't get caught up in this.  Just be willing to go along for the ride!

I broke my tailbone last June (pretty spectacularly, I might add), and I am still in pain daily.  For myself, I visualize the protective ligaments holding onto me for dear life, trying to keep my bones and muscles where they belong, even though the threat is long gone.  At this moment, the color it seems to me is an eggplanty purple...dark, bruised, deep.  It forms a sharp triangle following the shape of piriformis (one of the deep muscles in the hip).  It is taut and sharp.

Next step: visualize introducing an element that begins to undo the pain and tension: light, warmth, breath.  Be patient.  Let the disintegration happen on its own time.  See and feel the tension and pain becoming liquid, frayed, broken up.  

Now visualize the disintegrating pain becoming so liquid/small/soft/etc that it begins to flow out of the place where it is being held/where you've been holding it.  If it's in your lower body, it flows out of the bottoms of your feet and toes; for your upper body it flows down your arms and out your fingertips and palms.  All of that excess muckery is drunk up by the earth and filtered and cleaned and recharged into new energy. 

While being in pain or discomfort stinks and usually we want nothing more than to be out and done with it, do not rush this exercise.  If you're rushing, you're not truly paying attention to what's going on in your body.  

And off to sleep!

How do I...

I've come across some very nice www._________.blogspot.com sites and am quite envious!  

Goal for 2009: figure out how to make mine nice, personalized, etc and DO IT.

More on massage and eating disorders

Rats. I've been trying to put together an article on massage and eating disorders, but Ruth Werner beat me to it.

You can read about it in the digital edition of Massage & Bodywork, the ABMP's professional publication, starting on page 110. Her closing paragraph is simply beautiful.

I found this today....

...and really liked it.

http://christinekane.com/blog/bad-bored-and-bulimic-part-2/

For the computer-bound

A majority of folks that I see spend a lot of time at a desk, in front of a computer. Unsurprisingly, a lot of their complaints are the same: stiffness in their lower backs, tension and aches in their necks and between their shoulder blades, constrictions in their chests, unhappy forearms and hands. In brief, let's talk about what happens to your body when you spend hours each day sitting...

Shortened: hamstrings, hip flexors, pectorals, abdominal muscles, pronator teres (in your forearms, turns your hands palm-side down)

Lengthened: scapula stabilizers (rhomboids, trapezius), muscles in the back part of your neck (which are also working overtime if your head is in a forward position, rather than nicely stacked on your spine

What ends up happening is that all of the shortened muscles get used to being short and tight. They pull and pull and pull, creating tension in the muscles that oppose them. A simple way to begin addressing all of the aches and pains that arise from desk work is to stretch. Bob Anderson published a fabulous book on stretching, and makes some basic office stretches available on his website.

One of my personal favorite stretches is a pectoral stretch done on a 36"X6" round foam roller. You place the foam roller under the length of your spine, so that your head and sacrum are supported. Open your arms out, palms up. Bend your elbows 90 degrees. Let gravity pull your chest open. You can change which muscle fibers are stretched by raising and lowering your shoulders...kind of like making a snow angel (but maintain the bend in your elbow).

If you're a visual person, you can watch this lady.

I have to eat something, but I want to get this up, so start with this, and I'll post more later.

Ciao for now.

Metta Meditation

There is a meditation that focuses on the intention of metta, beginning with yourself.  You settle yourself comfortably and spend a few minutes focusing on your breathing.  How is your breath?  Is it shallow?  Deep?  Constricted in any way?  Go ahead and deepen it.  Breathe waaaaay down into your diaphragm to a slow 4-count, and exhale on a slow 4-count.  Then focus on the following:

May I be filled with loving-kindness

May I be well

May I be peaceful and at ease

May I be happy

Breathe it in.  See if you can fill your body with it.  How does it feel to wish yourself well?  

Sometimes I do this meditation while I'm walking my dog.  Sometimes my brain starts yakking up a storm about how fake it feels, oh--what's that over there?, I don't like how my neighbors landscape their yard, etc.  And I have to gently haul my brain back (much in the way I rein in the dog when she gets a bit cheeky on the end of the leash) and start again.  May I be filled with loving-kindness...

A lot of folks seem to expect meditation to be a magic bullet (massage, too, for that matter).  And you may very well have some sort of A-HA! moment the first time you do this.  If you do, good for you, and please tell me what you found.  For most of us, it's a new soundtrack that we start to play in our heads to replace some of our habitually critical soundtrack.  It gives you a little space, a little breathing room...and then, perhaps, some day you find you've cut yourself some slack when normally you'd be reading yourself the riot act over some slip-up.  

There is more to the meditation, but let's start at the beginning.  And...begin.

First things first: metta

Many years ago, I was on a personal retreat at one of my favorite places, Woolman Hill.  I had wandered into a bookstore in Northampton, MA and was looking for something.  I came across Jack Kornfield's A Path With Heart.  To say that it has changed my life would be an understatement.

With Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein, Kornfield co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA.  I think their website explains far better (and with fewer words than I would use!) the concepts of vipassana and metta.  

But metta is behind how I live life, and it's a driving force in my career choice.  So let's talk metta.

It's often translated as "lovingkindess"--a deep compassion that one develops for her/himself, and for others.  It is to have an open heart.  Really, it is to choose an open heart, because I think most of us can relate to how easy it is to close ourselves off in the face of internal or external criticism, judgment, fear, anger, hurt, loneliness, etc.  and to react with a closed or broken heart.

And, really, it must must MUST start from within.  You have to start by turning a gentle eye towards all of the things you find so unbearable in yourself.  Cuz the cliche is true: you cannot give what you do not have.  And if you haven't done this, let me forewarn you that it will probably be one of the hardest things you've ever done.

I was in the process of finishing my degree in Women's Studies and applying to social work school when my wife suggested "Hey, why don't you re-visit that old interest of yours in massage?"  (because I'd first considered going to massage school when I dropped out of art school at 19).  One orientation day later, I knew I was on the right path.  Talk therapy has its place, but I loved the idea of being able to work on a somatic level, because we live our lives in these bodies, and we hold everything within them.  On top of all the emotions we store and bottle in our bodies,  so many people are in struggle with their bodies--chronic illness, unhappiness with how we look, etc.  

So Metta Bodywork is about working and being with all of that from a) my own place of respect and compassion in hopes that b) people can rest in that space during sessions.

Good Morning! And Welcome!

I love direct service. I love making connections with people, one-on-one, and digging deeply.

At the same time, I'm always looking to be part of something bigger and broader, more expansive.

Creating this blog is my attempt to explore a bit of the latter. I've found that education, outreach, and community organization are vitally important to me. For a few months now, I've been trying to figure the best place to condense all of the information I want to get out to the folks that I work with. This past week I've stumbled upon 2 blogs that made me think: Hm. Maybe that's the way to go. So I'm giving it a shot.

So welcome! And I'll be seeing you around.