Committing to Self-Care

I've recently joined a Peer Supervision group. We met at Crema Cafe in Harvard Square and went around the table, telling our stories, suggesting topics to cover, sharing what we hoped to get out of the group. One of my colleagues said that she wanted to make sure we talked about Self Care. We all nodded, and it reminded me that this is a topic I've been meaning to write more about.

My acupuncturist checked in with me at the start of our most recent session. "Are you doing self care? Yoga? Exercise?" I'm certain I got the same look on my face as most of my clients do when cornered with the same question; the tone in my voice certainly sounded familiar. I hedged; I rationalized; I was busted.

And finally, today, I went for some much-needed bodywork with someone I deeply respect (in part due to a lack of self-care...doh!). Before even giving me the exercises, she cocked her head at me and asked "If I give you exercises, will you do them? Because some people don't, and that's ok, but I just want to know if you will before I give them to you."

I said yes, and received my instructions. So I'm putting out there publically, because I do believe in its importance, that as a healthcare professional, I am committing to my own Self Care.

What has stopped me in the past?

~overcommitted days
~lack of energy (see above)
~lack of immediate gratification (this is a big one for me)
~believing that the other things I did for other people were more important than Self Care
~perfectionism (if I cannot do it "perfectly," I may as well not do it at all)

So when you aren't taking care of yourself, what are you doing instead? What stops you from taking those 5-10 minutes? What stops you from saying "yes" or "no" (whichever applies)?

So my commitments are:

~do my Lou-assigned exercises twice daily (starting tonight)
~go to bed earlier (especially since I'm a habitual early-riser!)
~spend time every morning getting clear on what is important to me, and saying "yes" or "no" to activities and commitments that are in line with a bigger vision

I'll let you know how it goes!

"How often should I get massage?"

I get this question frequently.

The first and truest answer is: I don't know.

That said, what I tell people is that it depends on several factors:

~what are your goals and priorities?

~what can you realistically afford?

~what kind of time can you devote to massage or bodywork?

~what kind of self-care are you doing, or willing to do, between sessions?

Often, what I will recommend to someone coming in with a complaint that they are eager to fix is: come in for weekly treatments for 3-4 weeks, and then let's re-evaluate. If money or scheduling is an issue, it might be bi-weekly for 3-4 treatments, or it may mean doing shorter, more focused treatments.

I know, from experience, that regular bodywork brings change; people get results. Clients are pain-free for longer periods of time between sessions; they regain range of motion; they report decreases in insomnia and more restful sleep; they are inspired to take better care of their bodies beyond bodywork.

If there is one thing I can encourage clients to do, it is this: go for bodywork before reaching a state of absolute misery. There is no point in "saving" a bodywork session for when you absolutely cannot stand the pain or tension anymore. Resist the temptation to fall into this trap.

Personally, I go no longer than 3 weeks without bodywork. When I can swing it with scheduling and/or finances, I go weekly; generally, it's every 2 weeks. I recognize the value of it to my well-being, so I prioritize it. If I didn't, I suspect I'd have no business being a bodyworker!

:)

For the computer-bound

A majority of folks that I see spend a lot of time at a desk, in front of a computer. Unsurprisingly, a lot of their complaints are the same: stiffness in their lower backs, tension and aches in their necks and between their shoulder blades, constrictions in their chests, unhappy forearms and hands. In brief, let's talk about what happens to your body when you spend hours each day sitting...

Shortened: hamstrings, hip flexors, pectorals, abdominal muscles, pronator teres (in your forearms, turns your hands palm-side down)

Lengthened: scapula stabilizers (rhomboids, trapezius), muscles in the back part of your neck (which are also working overtime if your head is in a forward position, rather than nicely stacked on your spine

What ends up happening is that all of the shortened muscles get used to being short and tight. They pull and pull and pull, creating tension in the muscles that oppose them. A simple way to begin addressing all of the aches and pains that arise from desk work is to stretch. Bob Anderson published a fabulous book on stretching, and makes some basic office stretches available on his website.

One of my personal favorite stretches is a pectoral stretch done on a 36"X6" round foam roller. You place the foam roller under the length of your spine, so that your head and sacrum are supported. Open your arms out, palms up. Bend your elbows 90 degrees. Let gravity pull your chest open. You can change which muscle fibers are stretched by raising and lowering your shoulders...kind of like making a snow angel (but maintain the bend in your elbow).

If you're a visual person, you can watch this lady.

I have to eat something, but I want to get this up, so start with this, and I'll post more later.

Ciao for now.