Committing to Self-Care

I've recently joined a Peer Supervision group. We met at Crema Cafe in Harvard Square and went around the table, telling our stories, suggesting topics to cover, sharing what we hoped to get out of the group. One of my colleagues said that she wanted to make sure we talked about Self Care. We all nodded, and it reminded me that this is a topic I've been meaning to write more about.

My acupuncturist checked in with me at the start of our most recent session. "Are you doing self care? Yoga? Exercise?" I'm certain I got the same look on my face as most of my clients do when cornered with the same question; the tone in my voice certainly sounded familiar. I hedged; I rationalized; I was busted.

And finally, today, I went for some much-needed bodywork with someone I deeply respect (in part due to a lack of self-care...doh!). Before even giving me the exercises, she cocked her head at me and asked "If I give you exercises, will you do them? Because some people don't, and that's ok, but I just want to know if you will before I give them to you."

I said yes, and received my instructions. So I'm putting out there publically, because I do believe in its importance, that as a healthcare professional, I am committing to my own Self Care.

What has stopped me in the past?

~overcommitted days
~lack of energy (see above)
~lack of immediate gratification (this is a big one for me)
~believing that the other things I did for other people were more important than Self Care
~perfectionism (if I cannot do it "perfectly," I may as well not do it at all)

So when you aren't taking care of yourself, what are you doing instead? What stops you from taking those 5-10 minutes? What stops you from saying "yes" or "no" (whichever applies)?

So my commitments are:

~do my Lou-assigned exercises twice daily (starting tonight)
~go to bed earlier (especially since I'm a habitual early-riser!)
~spend time every morning getting clear on what is important to me, and saying "yes" or "no" to activities and commitments that are in line with a bigger vision

I'll let you know how it goes!

Lower Body OrthoMassage

Last weekend I received 20 hours of training in orthopedic massage for lower body conditions with James Waslaski.

I am now looking for folks with lower body complaints who are comfortable letting me practice my newfound skills on them.  Here are some details so you can make an informed decision:

• This will be unlike any bodywork you've received from me in the past.  It is very "active participant" and focused/clinical.
• You will be clothed for the session: underpants, loose stretchy shorts, t-shirt.
• No matter where your complaint, I will begin with your pelvis and hips and move down your legs to your feet.
• Some of the work on the hip flexors will be done by accessing them through your abdomen. Some folks find abdominal work to be sensitive; many of us hold a lot of emotion in our guts.  Rest assured that contact will be slow, patient, and at your pace.
• All work is meant to be pain-free, and even fairly discomfort-free.  It is quite slow, to allow the tissues to release at their own pace.
• Expect to spend about 90 minutes on a session, perhaps more.  There is a 12-step protocol for me to follow, and until I get it down, I will have to double-check my notes, my body mechanics, etc.  
• In order to participate, you must must MUST commit to self-care following.  
• The cost will be $50 for a session.
• Sessions will take place either on a Wednesday evening in Brookline or a Friday in Arlington.  

Why Your First Massage With Someone May Be Less Than Magical

I recently had a treatment with a massage therapist I hadn't worked with before. It was...ok. I had asked her to focus on a recurring shoulder complaint, which she did. I had specified to her that I love deep work, but that bodyworkers need to be slow and patient when applying deep tissue techniques, otherwise my muscles start guarding.

So I lay there on the table for an hour, waiting and waiting for her to go deeper. I didn't say anything, figuring she was perhaps just on the cusp of really going for it. Nope. As I got off the table, I certainly felt more relaxed and a bit looser, but she hadn't gone anywhere near my tolerance point for pressure and my shoulder still felt fairly bound up.

So I re-booked.

I recognize this isn't a choice that a lot of people would make. If you've spent money on a session and walk away from it feeling like you didn't get what you came in for, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to return to that therapist. Having been on the giving and receiving end of bodywork, there are many reasons why your first session with anyone might be less-than-fabulous and why you may want to consider a second chance:

• you are naked under a sheet or towel
  
• someone you don't know is touching you
• neither of you has a baseline for basic massage preferences such as style, pressure, pace, etc.
• a client may be less likely to speak up (as I was) because they are waiting to see what will happen
• there may be more miscommunication and misunderstanding because you don't know each other
• you may be comparing their work to your previous beloved (or behated) bodyworker
• you may be in so much pain or discomfort that precious little will make you happy at the moment
• you may be unhappy about your appearance and feeling self-conscious
• you don't know what to expect, or you have questions but are afraid to ask them and possibly appear "stupid" to the MT
  
• the receptionist may have been rude to you, and you're just livid (or intimidated, etc)
  
• so on and so forth

I've found as a bodyworker that the more I work with someone, the better and more effective the sessions. I always begin and end sessions with an interview to assess client goals and expectations, likes and dislikes, what worked and what didn't. With time, we develop a relationship of trust. I know my client's preferences and what works really well for their specific complaint. They know what to expect from me and so they let go more quickly. They speak up more quickly and confidently when something is or isn't to their liking because they know I welcome their feedback and won't be offended, and as a result the session is more satisfying to them.

As someone who receives regular bodywork, this is the guideline I've made for myself: I have 2-3 folks who are my go-to therapists; I know and like their work and regularly re-book with them. Every few months I pay a visit to a new therapist and see how it is they work. It's a system that has worked out really well for me.

Next time: either When to Not Re-Book Ever Ever or possibly How to Find a New MT.

Til then....

Chronic Pain and Happiness

I don't read the paper often, but I try to make time for the Boston Globe on Sundays. If you do, too, you may have seen this.

Firstly, I find the study of happiness to be fascinating, especially because many decades have been spent peering at the specifics of unhappiness and maladaptive behaviors.

Secondly, I'm intrigued by what such findings might mean for bodywork and bodywork research in light of their correlations between chronic pain and unhappiness. Would chronic pain sufferers find greater happiness if their complaints were addressed with consistent and regular bodywork?

"How often should I get massage?"

I get this question frequently.

The first and truest answer is: I don't know.

That said, what I tell people is that it depends on several factors:

~what are your goals and priorities?

~what can you realistically afford?

~what kind of time can you devote to massage or bodywork?

~what kind of self-care are you doing, or willing to do, between sessions?

Often, what I will recommend to someone coming in with a complaint that they are eager to fix is: come in for weekly treatments for 3-4 weeks, and then let's re-evaluate. If money or scheduling is an issue, it might be bi-weekly for 3-4 treatments, or it may mean doing shorter, more focused treatments.

I know, from experience, that regular bodywork brings change; people get results. Clients are pain-free for longer periods of time between sessions; they regain range of motion; they report decreases in insomnia and more restful sleep; they are inspired to take better care of their bodies beyond bodywork.

If there is one thing I can encourage clients to do, it is this: go for bodywork before reaching a state of absolute misery. There is no point in "saving" a bodywork session for when you absolutely cannot stand the pain or tension anymore. Resist the temptation to fall into this trap.

Personally, I go no longer than 3 weeks without bodywork. When I can swing it with scheduling and/or finances, I go weekly; generally, it's every 2 weeks. I recognize the value of it to my well-being, so I prioritize it. If I didn't, I suspect I'd have no business being a bodyworker!

:)

Just another Manic Monday

Actually, it's not all that manic, but that song gets stuck in my head on a weekly basis, so I thought I'd share the joy.  ;)

I had a great idea for a post earlier today, but it seems to have slipped away, so instead I'll share with you my favorite smoothie recipe.

frozen strawberries, plain yogurt, peach juice.......blend like crazy.  

Sometimes I throw in protein powder.  But sometimes the texture of protein powder isn't the nicest.  

Guided Visualization

I have had clients who struggle with pain.  I mean, we all do, in our way.  But sometimes with pain, it becomes this overwhelming, amorphous entity that can be difficult to manage due to its unwieldyness.  In Buddhism, there is the practice of naming things: feelings, thoughts, etc.  I like taking this concept but adding a creative person's twist.

So pain.  Do you have any in your body right now?  Discomfort will do.  :)

Close your eyes and see your pain or discomfort.  What color is it?  What texture is it?  What shape does it take?  There are no right or wrong answers; don't get caught up in this.  Just be willing to go along for the ride!

I broke my tailbone last June (pretty spectacularly, I might add), and I am still in pain daily.  For myself, I visualize the protective ligaments holding onto me for dear life, trying to keep my bones and muscles where they belong, even though the threat is long gone.  At this moment, the color it seems to me is an eggplanty purple...dark, bruised, deep.  It forms a sharp triangle following the shape of piriformis (one of the deep muscles in the hip).  It is taut and sharp.

Next step: visualize introducing an element that begins to undo the pain and tension: light, warmth, breath.  Be patient.  Let the disintegration happen on its own time.  See and feel the tension and pain becoming liquid, frayed, broken up.  

Now visualize the disintegrating pain becoming so liquid/small/soft/etc that it begins to flow out of the place where it is being held/where you've been holding it.  If it's in your lower body, it flows out of the bottoms of your feet and toes; for your upper body it flows down your arms and out your fingertips and palms.  All of that excess muckery is drunk up by the earth and filtered and cleaned and recharged into new energy. 

While being in pain or discomfort stinks and usually we want nothing more than to be out and done with it, do not rush this exercise.  If you're rushing, you're not truly paying attention to what's going on in your body.  

And off to sleep!